I recently worked with a female executive of a large corporation who had held various positions within the same organisation over years. In that time she had never really thought about cultivating a network outside of her organisation and certainly not outside her own industry. Networking is not on the agenda of most organisations (why would it be? From an initial position it could be considered as showing the employee a better job outside of the organisation.) However networks can also include your current networks such as your co-workers.
1. Avoid coming off as too salesy by giving.
It is better to give than to receive. Come to the relationship by not expecting anything. Look for opportunities to do something for the other person, such as sharing knowledge or offering an introduction to someone that person might not know but would be interested in knowing. Do not be transactional about networking. Do not offer something because you want something in return. Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and the other person have in common.
2. Great questions create better relationships.
Ask more than tell. People love to talk about themselves especially when they are given the opportunity by someone thoughtful enough to ask a great question and who is genuinely interested.
3. More than just instinct: mirror neurons can tell if you are faking it.
Recent research about the brain indicates that we can read people far more accurately than once thought through the use of mirror neurons in our brain. They accurately pick up what’s going on inside of another. Feel comfortable, awkward, anxious or disinterested with another? If you know it’s not you it’s what’s going on for them.
4. Relationships are progressions, follow-ups are important.
Build trust slowly, over time. It’s okay to follow up by email, but keep in mind that the other person’s inbox is probably swamped, so she may not respond even if she reads the email. Be persistent in your approach. It’s okay to email again even if you have not heard back. Over time, every interaction contributes to a deeper relationship. Even when there isn’t always a response.
5. Prioritise people you most want to be influenced by.
You’re not going to be able to contact and stay connected with everyone all the time. Don’t leave your networking to chance. Define what and who you are looking for. Go beyond your industry. Find people and work on relationships that are relevant to you. You will start off by networking with everyone but over time you will start to gauge who is most relevant to you. So prioritise the people you’d most like to be influenced by, and look for special opportunities to reconnect with them regularly but whenever you learn a piece of information, find a job listing, or make a connection that could be relevant to them.
6. Demonstrate that you’re looking out for the other person.
As Dr Robert Cialdini expert on the psychology of persuasion says; people operate out of the law of reciprocity. People feel then need to reciprocate and return a favour that has been offered to them. The more you show you’re looking out for someone, the more likely that person will begin to keep you in mind as well. Writing to offer a piece of information or a connection is a great way to strengthen the relationship.
7. Make introductions
Once in a while, think of two people who should know each other but don’t, and introduce them. Ask for permission before you do so. Follow through with them later to learn from whether that introduction was worthwhile, so you can get better at making introductions.
8. Imagine you got retrenched today.
Who are the 5-10 people you’d contact for advice? This is the test of a great net-worker. As networking thought leader Jon Burgess suggests networking is about creating genuine relationships that add real value. Develop your relationships with this in mind. What would it take to be able to develop a relationship that would be this really useful to you in the future?
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